"Furee" (3) years with Benen Edward

November 10, 2020

Dear Benen (Bubs, Benen Bear, B, B-money, Ben-Ben) 

My sweet boy. This past year was a wild one; full of growth, and unconditional love always. You adapted to becoming a big brother, weathered the ongoing storm that is the Covid 19 pandemic and filled my bucket in more ways than I could ever imagine. I thank my lucky stars for you every day.

When you grow up you want to be Spiderman, so you spend most of your days practicing to save the world; shooting webs (pssssssshhh) and putting bad guys in jail. Your imagination is exhilarating and following your lead and getting lost in it is one of my favorite elopements. In your physical world, you like to follow the rules, and are sure to let me know when Charlie is breaking them. On the rare occasion where we disagree on the rules, your pouty face, and outpouring of strong emotions are accepted as par for the course.

You currently love a good joke, and while in your process of telling them the concept of a punch line is sometimes missed; but process and reenactment is hilarious non the less. You're known to make up a goofy song or two and your silliness can make even the grumpiest Gus cry from laughter. Your own laugh is genuine and infectious.

Your observant, kind and grateful often say things like "that’s bewful", "I really love you mom", or " thank you for cleaning my room mom!" You love the concept of filling up buckets and providing gifts of love. Guiding your heart of gold is truly an honor.

You're a really great big brother. There is zero denying the love you have for Charlie. Sometimes the displays of affection are rough, and I see your growing pains and occasional frustrations in your new role but I appreciate them all the same. Charlie is incredibly lucky to grow up with you,  watching your sibling bond evolve is beautiful and so sacred to my heart.

The transition to pre-school/class room daycare this past fall was a tough transition… for both of us I think. We took things slow, and I'm insanely proud of you. You now tell me "peace-out" at drop offs and upon reflection of our days, you often tell me that your favorite part of your day is in fact going to "school". Seeing you make friends, engage with your teachers and incorporate new learned skills is incredible to witness.  It has truly been amazing watching you gain confidence, learn and play within this new environment. The number four is always forgotten when you count to ten and when you're reminded about that pesky number you often reply with "ohhh right right".  Your vocabulary is unbelievable in my opinion, and you have a seemly admirable way of articulating your thoughtfulness.

During the initial Covid 19 quarantine period in the spring, we made the leap to learn how to use the potty. Peeing was no biggie, standing like dad a must and as a result the walls often require a good wipe down while you work on perfecting your aim. Bowel movements were a bit trickier, a little more scary and something we continue to work on. I'm not worried, one day when your grown and maybe have a family of your own I know you'll appreciate the ability to escape to the bathroom for a moment of silence.

You adore your older cousins, like snuggling "pup pup", talk about seeing uncle Carter in your dreams and think our 21 year old volkswagen Jetta is a racecar. A special night includes popcorn, a good pixar movie and the couch transformed into a "couch bed". You're good at putting your garbage in the trashcan and your plate in the sink, and you're adamant that you don't like chocolate…but you'll stomach chocolate cake for a birthday even though your flavor of choice is "nilla" by a landslide. You seek independence and ask for space in a variety of ways, but the consistent request and negotiations for bedtime snuggles, and joyous greeting I get when I walk in the door from work reaffirm how much I need to be needed by you.

As I was gathering my thoughts and perceptions of who you are as a three year old in order to write this annual letter to you, I wrote three words to describe current you Benen. They were: Kind, intuitive, and hilarious. I then asked your dad what three words he would use to describe you at present. His were: Caring, intentive and witty. Anyone who knows how to use a thesaurus can see that these are practically the same attributes. You are true to who are, and while I'm sure you will evolve and take on other or different qualities throughout your life these core values you naturally possess are honorable.

In conclusion, in the words of three year old Benen, "I love you the most, all day, in the whole world". I cant wait to continue to watch you grow and get to know you more. Thank you for continuing to teach me more about life and love, but most of all, thank you for choosing me to be your mom.

Love you forever,

Love Mom

xo